Didn’t expect to be this shook by this, since I’ve subsequently moved on and am (happily) in a committed, long-term relationship. First, you might be opening an old wound, but I doubt it. image credit: mikebaird, Simson Petrol, ME. Second, though you might open an ‘old’ wound, there’s also a chance you’ll heal an old wound too and your apology may well be what the wronged party needs. But remember, in the end your words mean little if your actions don’t reflect what you say. After a month I entered into a relationship the girl I developed feelings for and she is currently my girlfriend. I’m Sorry for What Happened. Personally, I’d write him a letter/email detailing your apology, but don’t include anything about wanting anything from him–including friendship–that can come later if he’s receptive. If you treated someone poorly and you now see what you did was wrong, you should apologize. There’s nothing wrong with you getting a pay off from your apology, as long as it’s done with the right intentions. Otherwise it’s better your apology is left unsaid. . So I also felt I needed this guy to know that I didn’t harbor any malice towards him in case I died. We were young and I was stupid for making stupid mistakes at that age. I don’t know how to approach the situation. After all, you broke up, and she’s going to want you to prove to her why you should still be together. There’s two ways to look at this argument. I would have, and still would, like to know the truth behind what happened. Romance Writer & Recovering Former Mermaid. If there's no one else around, people have a nasty habit of reaching for their phones to drunk call or text their ex. P.S: Here is an article on how to write a good apology. So basically I hear empty words and I’ll be like, whatever as it doesn’t do anything to me. I don’t think you were entirely wrong in stepping back. Would it just make him angry? I freaked out and changed my phone number. Now, I realize that I should not have cut our communication just because of his smoking. We almost always regret the things we don’t do. I never ever intended to treat her bad or make her cry and to this day it makes me upset on how i made her feel. After two divorces, Hellen, an attractive 60-year-old, had become comfortably single. on Should You Apologize to an Ex, Even if Years Have Passed? Talk is cheap. I guess that kinda stung, but we agreed to meet up and talk but that never happened. I say take the chance, it’s never too late to offer peace. Thanks so much for the post. tame your ego. Sometimes, we do have to throw caution in the wind. Thank you. . It took me 5 years to realize just how important she is to me, and now I would like to apologize in the best possible way. I can only speak from my own experience as someone who’s been ghosted. :/Do you think that’s a bad idea? He previously promised me and said that he was not smoking any more which was a lie. That’s it. The surreal stress of the full-blown COVID-10 pandemic is causing some people to reach out to their exes for one last attempt at connection. I am not sure why I have been acting this way. As I progressed as human, I really feel that I should send a wholehearted apology to him , not just for my self but he too deserves it.Don’t know how I’m going to do thia.As both of us have moved on and are happy with our current situation, I’m not sure how he’s going to react. But he still lives near our hometown. The last 2 weeks I am dreaming about him, cannot stop thinking about him and I am sick to my stomach over reaching out. New Video: Should You Apologize to an Ex, Even if Years Have Passed? You need to really be back in touch and create what I like to call an open platform of communication where you feel comfortable to reach out to someone without second guessing yourself. For every story of an ex’s contact upsetting someone, there’s another story of the contact being healing – you really can only roll the dice and see how this plays out. Day 3 of No Contact.. Could you update please? This might be true. I think about him all the time. Just a few days ago, something happened between this boy and I. Personally, I’d ask him to meet in person, for no other reason than apologies always mean more and require more risk when delivered that way than via text. He always wanted to explore the world and we knew that since the very beginning. I have had dreams about her being angry or upset with me and I wake up wanting to message her online to say my peace, but I’m not sure if it is the right thing to do. For regular updates, feel free to Subscribe to her newsletter. My advice, first and foremost––> DON’T get your friend to talk for you. my Ex fiance works 3 min away from my home (he lives 45 min away though) I live in what can best be described as Mayberry from hell! I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you … The world needs more of it. I’m glad you found my post helpful! Thank you for your lovely message. Even if he doesn’t wish to give ‘us’ another chance I still want to get this overdued message/apology across.. The fact is you don’t know what’s going on in another persons heart, they might want your apology, just as much as you want to give it. I am at a loss here. Okay so I have childhood ex that I havent seen for about 5 years now because me and my family decided to move somewhat far away at the time… Only temporary though .. 4 years was the plan, but now it’s been extended to 6 years. While she tried hard to keep the contact with me, I have mainly replied in short ways as if I wasn’t interested in keeping the contact at all. "Expectations lead to letdowns and disappointments." I’ll wait for the right time to apologize if I have to but when will I know if its the right time? In all these years she told me things like “you can’t imagine how much I miss you.. **UPDATE: Due to this post’s popularity, I’ve filmed a video version for my YouTube Channel! To see that you’ve grown from what has happened, in itself can bring great healing. I really pissed him off and he stopped all of his communication with me. I’ve been trying to ignore it because I can’t solve it. My issue in apologizing is the reason why; Am I doing it for me, or am I doing it for her? Question: My husband wants a divorce, but I don't. If only he had asked.“ DO NOT even mention this if you apologise, otherwise you risk looking like you’re placing blame on him. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! If you ex does reach out to you, consider the request with caution. As long as your apology isn’t a veiled excuse to try get them back and you’re careful not to make it sound like you’re doing them a huge favor by saying sorry. Your article really helped me to to apologize to my ex. Fast forward to 6 mos ago. The only person that can ever answer that is your ex., but from personal experience - every now and then I think about past boyfriends, especially the ones who were kind to me and close to my family. !” and now I’m worried about what to say… but it feels like I need to do this so he knows that I didn’t break up with him in the spur of a moment thing… if that makes sense? I really want to apologize and I really want to tell him how important he was to me and in my recovery. Otherwise you’ll just be playing the same old broken record. He thanked me for example, if you ex does reach out to her and realized! 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